Thinking back to my childhood, I can’t recall every being pushed to excel in any particular area. I was average at basically everything. From school, activities, and sports. Just average all the way across the board. I was never pushed in any certain direction, so I just seemed to kind of float right in the middle. My sister always had a “thing”. It was excelling at english/vocabulary/writing/reading you get the picture. She was desperate to read everything and anything she could get her hands on. I recall her being so excited to read all the grown up magazines at my grandmother’s house. She would pour through copies of The New Yorker like it was nothing. The school she attended wanted to put her through to the next grade. I was always extremely envious of her mind. I know she has problems with logistical things (we both can’t read a map, or do math), but I just remember wishing I had something.
I started becoming a social butterfly. I was always talking, laughing, trying to make people laugh. I would talk to anyone. I wanted to be everyone’s friend. Instead of studying a certain school subject, or being the best at a sport, I made it my job to be heard.
Later in life this life skill helped. I excelled at good old customer service. From working as a waitress, a bartender, secretary, anything dealing with people I rocked it. As I got older I felt like that was all I was. Good at people. It started to really annoy me. I had no direction in life, I was overweight, I was floundering.
I find myself here now. In such a better place. Mentally and physically. Still though I have so much I need to work on. I still have weight to lose, I still have goals to reach. I started to thinking about all the things I have started and never finished. I get so excited about something, excel at it for a few days, and stop. I want to break through. I want to get below 200 pounds desperately. I got so close. 203 pounds. I sabotaged myself and thinking about that still hurts. I have gained and regained so many pounds that even I have lost track of them.
I have to finish something. Just one thing to prove to myself that I am capable of doing so. Not half ass. Not for a week. I have to FINISH. I know the perfect thing to start.
The 30 day shred. I have never made it past week 1. I have started it, and stopped it at least 15 times. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. Day by day. 30 days. Level 1, 2, 3. No cheating. I am going to make a calendar, and be accountable for each workout. I am going to be starting on August 27. That is the day I get back from my vacation. Until that date I am going to keep eating right and working out. Mentally I am preparing for Jillian. I have no problem riding long distance bike rides, doing 60 minutes of hard cardio, but all of her squats, weights, and crunches make me nervous.
Who wants to do this with me? I would love to have a small group of people join me in this quest to start something and FINISH IT.
I would love to hear from you. Let’s do this together. Thanks for reading.